LOVE ADVICE
Ever feel like you score an A+ in other areas of life, but a D+ at love? Or maybe you have a really putrid significant other, when you could totally have a way nicer guy, and it’s because of your poor “game?”
In conjunction with the theme of my blog, I had a phenomenal conversation with a friend who scores an A+ at her dating life. Boyz, I do apologize if you’re reading this blog and actually care/want advice, but that can be requested.
While asking my hilarious amiga, Josie, about a specific member of the opposite sex, she begins with
“No. I’m going to give you shitty advice on purpose so you don’t regret this later.”
“Please, Josie.”
“I’m going to drive to Florida and slap you.”
“This is my type. I like guys like that.”
“They’re underfed. Stop going for underfed guys. Like, when are the Nigerians coming? Go for them.”
“They’re playing basketball next to my apartment.”
“GO.”
This is when it gets good.
I’m sure other extroverts out there get paralyzed on occasion when a man is like a A++ would order again, right? (Ebay joke).
I ask Josie how to then proceed.
“Get a post-it note, and be like, ‘wanna get coffee with me? Yes? No? Then if he’s like, ‘I’M BUSY,’ say ‘wow, I just wanted to be friends, weirdo!”
“This is excellent advice, Josie, thanks!”
“Then send nudes to his Facebook, then be like
…Wow
Oh
My
God
I am sooo embarrassed wow wrong person omg.”
“I’ve never sent nudes in my life.”
“Okay then fake a life threatening illness you can have a Walk to Remember-esque summer. Something chic though, nothing like leprosy.”
